Animal of the week – Cheetah

Cheetah
Week 3 – starting 14th of February
The Cheetah is surprisingly more endangered than other African cats. There are only around 5,000 Cheetahs left in the wild. Many Cheetahs are starving due to not having the privacy to hunt. Also a major factor of Cheetah populations going down is their vulnerability to disease. This is because during the Ice age Cheetahs were wiped out apart from 1 pregnant female. Therefore they have little genetic diversity although zoos around the world have been regularly swapping Cheetahs in an attempt to tackle this problem.

Cheetahs used to be found in Africa, Asia and parts of Europe but now are only found Africa. Despite being a predator on the plains it can fall prey to other cats, Leopards will eat Cheetahs while Lions will kill and leave the body for the vultures. Cheetahs normally have about 2-6 cubs in a litter although probably only half of them will survive. This is beacuse of predation by hyenas, leopards, lions and even large eagles.

Cheetahs will eat anything they can catch and take down. Their most common prey are Thompson’s Gazelles or tommy that are abundant on the east african plains. Also they prey on smaller antelopes such as Dik-Dik, Duiker and Reedbuck. Male Cheetahs that live in groups called coalitions are able to tackle larger prey such as Topi, Impala and Hartebeest as well as young Wildebeest and Zebras. Cheetahs have to eat quickly at meals because they are often bossed away by scavengers like Hyenas. Hyenas are stronger and more powerful than Cheetahs and a fight would only end in one result, a dead Cheetah. The Cheetah is the fastest land mammal on earth and to catch its prey it will stalk the prey to around 70 metres. Then it will take off and after a few seconds the Cheetah is running at its maximum speed of 65 miles per hour. It can only hold this speed for around 15 seconds. It will then suffocate the prey until it is dead.

Footballer of the week – Henri Camara

henri-camara.jpgWeek 2 – starting 6th of February
This week my footballer of the week is Henri Camara. Camara, a Senegal international with over 50 caps signed for Saints on the last day of the January transfer window. He has done superbly so far scoring 2 goals in 1 and a half appearances. He is only on loan at the moment, from Wolves. Whether Saints stay up or not will probably depend if he wants to stay at the end of his loan. Last year when Wolves were relegated he refused to play for them. He was immediately loaned out to Celtic where he struggled to get in the first team behind John Hartson and Chris Sutton. At the end of his loan he went on loan again to Saints. He is not just a superb goalscorer he is one of the fastest and most skilful players in the Premiership.

Thank God that's over

If you’re reading this, there’s a good chance that our migration to a new web host has completed successfully. Though not without incident. I clumsily deleted all articles during the transition, and had to reconstitute from various bits of backup, here, there and everywhere. For a while our About page pointed to a story about Space Aliens, curiously appropriate especially after an all-night session to repair the mess I’d created. If I were Jerry Pournelle of Computing at Chaos Manor fame, I’d tell you all the gory details, but I’m not, so I won’t.

Normal service should now be resumed.

Animal of the week – Nyala

NyalaWeek 1 – starting 31st January.
This week my animal of the week is the Nyala. Nyala are only found in South Africa although they are abundant in the parks and Game reserves. Male and female are easily distinguished with several major differences. Male Nyalas are almost twice as big as the females, they also carry large dangerous horn which the females do not possess and the biggest difference is the skin colour. Males are browny black whilst females are orange, they however both have white stripes across their body. They live in in medium sized herds of around 20 – 50 of which are around 10% male. Like most antelopes males which haven’t won a herd will form bachelor herds. Fights are minimal and the males territories overlap vastly. They are always willing to drink and to hang around with other herds. They can fall prey to Leopard, Lions and Hyenas but males will defend herds using their powerful horns.

Footballer of the week – Peter Crouch

peter crouchWeek 1 – starting 31st of January.
This week my footballer of the week is Peter Crouch who you may have heard scored the last gasp penalty in the F.A.Cup 4th round derby between Southampton and Portsmouth. Since the 6ft 6 striker joined saints for ‘2million pounds in July he has scored 7 goals in 9 starts and 9 sub appearances. After the departure of James Beattie to Everton on January the 4th Crouch has been given more of chance. He has started a superb partnership with Kevin Phillips which has produced a great amount of goals. But 2 weeks ago Kevin Phillips picked up a nasty injury. Manager Harry Redknapp experimented with a new 4-5-1 formation with Crouch playing up front on his own. So far that has worked amazingly, the Saints side are full of confidence after winning their last two games against Liverpool and Portsmouth, Crouch scored goals in both of those games and at this minute is a Saints legend to many fans.

Dangerous wild animal?

This is Sheeba, a brown-spotted Bengal, and one of the Jordan-Maynard cats. The Bengal is a rather new breed, created by hybridising the wild Asian Leopard Cat with domestic breeds including the Abyssinian and Burmese. It is regarded with some disdain by proponents of more established breeds, but is allegedly beloved by celebrities including Rolf Harris, Esther Rantzen, Mohammed al Fayed, and, umm, Jeffrey Archer.

Notwithstanding her exalted pedigree, Sheeba seems to enjoy life as domestic moggie and, aside from occasionally biting my ankles when supper is late, shows no tendency to terrorism. So we were rather surprised to read this article in the Hampshire Chronicle, 28th January 2005:

An American woman living in Winchester is having trouble being reunited with her cat because its breed has been classed as dangerous. Tina Hulme’s domesticated Bengal cat, Ava, is descended from the Asian Bengal leopard cat and the Department for Environment and Rural Affairs has classed it as a dangerous animal. Two-year-old Ava is still in the States, but Tina will have to apply for a special licence to bring her into the UK. Six months quarantine will follow, and then Tina’s home will have to be inspected by a Defra agent to ensure it is suitable to house a “wild animal”. Said Tina: “I just want my baby back.”

I’m all lost in the supermarket

shopping-list.jpgYou’re looking at a fragment of our weekly shopping list. Note the colour-coding for different sections of the store, the aisle numbers in the left-hand column, even the sub-aisles denoted by a proto Dewey decimal system of groceries. I know what you’re thinking. Hold fast those cries of “anal retentive”. Titter-ye-not at this most un J-M like behaviour. This is the work of my beloved and I am its beneficiary. Each week, Caroline studiously prepares this list, and I carry it to Sainsbury’s to perform a deft and streamlined weekly shop. I sleekly glide through the aisles like German engineering, picking items hither and thither without a care to furrow my brow.

I have been doing this on a weekly basis for many years. The routine doesn’t end with the list. Each week I meet Martin at Sainsbury’s and we share the same jokes, gossip about mutual friends, catch up on news of my former employer. Usually we meet in aisle 34, but just for grins we sometimes shake things up and give 33 a try.

Lately though, things have been sadly amiss at Sainsbury’s. Martin likened it to a Soviet winter. Gaping holes appear on shelves and the German machinery lurches and fails. Instead of a neat array of crosses, I return with a list scarred with circles; items that must be returned to next week’s list, or, worse, extraordinary shopping trips have to be undertaken.

This morning we decided to try something different. Circumstances found us Child-Free in Chandlers Ford (aside: Richard Curtis you may use this title in exchange for 1% of box-office takings). We felt the magnetic pull of the newish Waitrose store that has been drawing in people like us like moths to a flame.

“It’s a bit disorienting” I announce unsteadily.
“Never fear” says C. “It’ll be good for us; stretch us a bit”.
A few aisles later: “You have to keep your wits about you, on this mind-expanding trip around the supermarket”, I whimper. “I think we just missed Camomile tea”.

I’m discomfited by the massed shelves of Perfectly Balanced foods. A lifelong ectomorph, I distrust this stuff. I seek out Satisfyingly Saturated and Famously Filling. Still, the Bistro Tarts look tasty and Tom proclaimed the chocolate brownies a triumph. Small thrills cheer me: being able to self-scan The Guardian, rather than furtively declaring it a problem item, as if smuggling Das Kapital into Dallas-Fort Worth.

A last surprise in store (groan). Too many months working at BT have introduced me to the term “bill-shock”, but today I experienced it. Our case of Grolsch, regularly ‘11.99 at Sainsbury’s, even sometimes two for ’22, came in at ‘18.35.

A voice rings out from the service desk: “Customer about a lobster.”

I'm Tom

Hello to all Jordan-Maynard.org viewers. My name is Tom and I’m 10. From now on I’ll regularly be posting articles towards the website. You may have read my description that Dad wrote a few months ago. If you have you will know that I enjoy football, music, and wildlife watching. I will try to post an animal or footballer of the week every week although they might not be so regular. Thank you for taking the time to visit jordan-maynard.org and read all our articles. See you later.

Marshall Plan: What Plan?

If you squint your eyes a bit, you can blur out modern-day bourgeois Winchester, its preoccupation with property prices and the frequency of trains to Waterloo. What’s left is a vibrant medieval city, which often claims to be the historic capital of England. (As a native of Leofric’s Mercia, I suspect that claim is over-inflated, but I’m not one to pursue tribal disputes).

I took a walk up St. Giles Hill on a crisp, clear day. It sits just at the edge of the urban centre. It’s a short, steep climb, so the view from the top feels like that from a tall spire, rather than a distant hill-top. One could almost throw a stone through the Cathedral windows, or toss back a ball to the floppy-haired public-school boys at the College. The plateau of the hill was, during the 13th and 14th centuries, the site of St Giles Fair. Barbara Carpenter Turner’s History of Winchester explains the significance of the fair.

Merchants came from all over England, and even from Ireland, most of them trading in wool or cloth. … There were Frenchmen, Spaniards and men from the Low Countries. They brought in wine, spices, silks and other luxuries of medieval life, for this was one of the four most important fairs in England.

Gambian childrenSeveral years ago Caroline and I visited The Gambia. Our friend Jo took us up-country by Land Rover, stopping at the town of Farafenni. Farafenni sits at the crossroads of ancient trade routes, and is host to a market, one of the most important in West Africa. It attracts traders from all over the region: the lanky Wolof from Senegal, Fulani, Mandinka and the blue-hooded and cloaked Tuareg from the North. Stalls spread far into the distance, selling fabrics, spices, a few scrawny vegetables and some livestock. Diesel may have largely replaced the camel, indeed the nearby crossing of the Gambia river resembles Calais in a port strike, but otherwise the same scene must have existed for centuries.

What struck me as I climbed St Giles Hill was that Europe and Africa operated surprisingly similar economies a few hundred years ago, yet have drastically diverged. And that’s not meant pejoratively. I doubt the Africans are distraught that they lack the finer achievements of modern life: the M25, out-of-town shopping and Pot Noodles.

So, Gordon Brown has a mission to develop Africa, and a fine intent that is, but what is the model to which the continent should aspire? Are African nations lining up to provide cheap manufacturing labour as the Asian tigers price themselves out of the market? Or is there an alternative?

Martin Wolf, the FT columnist and author of Why Globalisation Works, is the toast of Threadneedle Street because (it’s claimed) he has comprehensively demolished the anti-globalisation argument. Naomi Klein (they say) is history.

I confess, I haven’t read Wolf’s book yet, but I have studied some of his data. Wolf’s seductive argument is that those countries that have embraced globalised industrial development — notably India, China and the South East Asian nations — have reduced poverty and decreased inequality. To his credit, Wolf measures wealth (or poverty) in terms of purchasing power parity, a more robust definition than those who ignore relative cost-of-living. I imagine one could live more lavishly on £5,000 a year in Kerala than £50,000 in Kew.

What makes me uncomfortable is Wolf’s premise that poverty can be monetarised so objectively. Who is richer, an African herdsman with sufficient cattle and bread to feed his family, or a Chinese factory worker, sweating for 16 hours a day in unhealthy conditions, but earning enough to make a one hour mobile phone call? What evidence have we that a subsistence economy is poorer in real, human terms than an industrialised one’ How shall we quantify eradication of Malaria, or an end to famine? What price freedom from genocide?

I wish I understood these things, and so Small Is Beautiful is on my reading list, along with Why Globalisation Works.

Spiers & Boden play Winchester

BellowLast Friday, the Tower Arts Centre treated us to a concert by the wonderful John Spiers and Jon Boden. This excellent booking was allegedly achieved through Boden calling John Tellett a bastard in Folk on Tap for not having booked them previously, despite Boden being a native son of Winchester, a stratagem clearly worth repeating.

Several times, Boden acknowledged his debt to the campfire singing of a “mysterious underground camping organisation” (how do you camp underground exactly’) called Forest School Camps. One of the songs he learnt there was Prickle Eye Bush, recognisable to the more mature members of the audience as Gallows Pole from Led Zeppelin III. (One of my earliest albums – the original gatefold sleeve with the rotating paper disc with weird little pictures on it.) Not having the benefit of the FSC, Zep had come to the song via Leadbelly and John and Alan Lomax, and perhaps didn’t even know of its English origins.

Through and ThroughCourting Too Slow could have been a letter from a timid software developer to a modern agony aunt, and brought out the Maynard school of counselling: just pull yourself together.

The packed Tower audience immediately warmed to the performers’ energy, and sung quite audibly. Tom, who had been dragged under protest to a boring old folk gig, and apparently had his suspicions confirmed by his first sight of the audience, was particularly enthusiastic (“why didn’t you tell me they were like this'”). And it was good to see some old friends again and come out as unapologetic folkies.

Finally, John Tellett please note, Spiers is a homonym for Spires, not for Spears.